In my first 40 years

40. I have been dreading this number for years. No real reason why, just the thought of the number makes me wince a bit. When I was young, this was a number that you associated with the people you would consider to be old. This was the age that people started to become "out of touch". This was the number that you would tether to the phrase "midlife crisis".  This is the age my brother was when he died.

 With age comes wisdom or at least a perception of some sort of earned knowledge. At this age you should have at least leaned something that you could pass along to the next generation. This is the age you start to ignite any feelings of urgency towards any of your unfinished business or goals. The age where many start to doubt their place in this world and look to do something drastic that alters their current course.  All in all, it's just another number, but it's very Irish of me to apply additional gravity to it because it brings me one year closer to meeting my maker, yet at the same time, we celebrate.

I've learned a few things (or at least I think I have) in my first 40 years and I'll share a few with you.

 Love things. Find people, places and things to love. Don't give a shit if others don't feel the same way about these passions of yours. Your friends are your friends. Your oddities are your oddities. You don't need the validation of others in order for these things to be cool; these are your passions. Don't harshly criticize the passions of others. As long as these things aren't commonly considered terrible for you, they are ok to love. If you go a whole day without telling or showing someone that you love them, then you need to make changes in your life because you are missing out.

Don't wait for an opportunity to present itself for you to be kind. Extend kindness whenever and wherever you can.  You are never truly too busy to help. Often thinking you are busy is a sign of laziness and you should never let your lack of effort get in the way of doing the right thing.

Don't make apologies for who you are, where you came from and how you act. Also, don't allow your behavior to be something that others need to make excuses for.

 Give a shit. Just don't give so much shit that it drains your energy and doesn't allow you to focus on the bigger and more important things in life. Apply the proper amount of "shit" to each thing in life.

Know who your people are. Surround yourself with these people and don't be afraid to cut loose the cancerous people in your life. They will eventually find their own people, so don't feel too guilty about their loneliness.

40 years of living makes you an expert at one thing and that is how you lived your life. No amount of education or time in the chair allows you to be an expert at anything else.  Don't be a pompous know it all. Also, don't be so thick that you forget to remember to learn something new. Stop talking and let the world teach you things. It's hard, I know. You're never too young to learn new things or admit you are wrong.

Your family is weird. So is everyone else's family.  Know that.  Embrace it. We are all the black sheep.

Things happen the way they are supposed to. Everything always works out the way it should and no amount of swimming against the tide will prevent it. At the same time, don’t be so lax that they tide carries you out to sea.

You have it better than everyone else. No matter the pity party that you try to throw for yourself, deep down inside you have it good and it's important to acknowledge that. As I always tell my kids "NOBODY has more fun than us".

Life is really short and no matter how many different ways people tell you to live it to the fullest, we will all choose to squander much of it doing silly mindless things and that's ok. Just eventually make an effort to Pull the Trigger on the items on your bucket list.  Climbing a mountain when you are 50 is easier to do than when you are 80.

#Tryharder. Not just at parking your car correctly, but in other aspects of your life. Trust me, you have the energy and the time. Anyone who says they are too busy in life are liars and by saying that, it's actually a sign of laziness.

Be the kind of person you think you are and don't lie to yourself about being something you are not. If you are not who you want to be, then become who you want to be. No amount of addiction or roadblocks should prevent you from doing this. Be as good of a person as you are honestly capable of being. Do not set lofty expectations that you are not capable of living up to. Certainly push yourself, but understand that you will never be the Pope if you only go to church on holidays.

Take yourself seriously, but no so seriously that you can't be silly. I believe in myself and because of that, I have the confidence to unplug for a week at Disney and act like my kids-Mickey ears and all! 

Don't argue with idiots. You will never be able to bring them to your level, they will always drag you to theirs.

Keeping score in relationships will only make you a loser. Don't keep score, but always try to be the one giving more.

You're going to experience disappointment and pain. Life is going to punch you and punch you hard. Let it influence you, but don't let is negatively scar you. Being jaded is no way to live life.

Almost everything is a "laughing matter". There isn't a life event that I can't make a joke about. Why shouldn't we?  It's not deflection or avoidance, it's levity. In life, levity is very important.

Be sensitive, but don't be a big sissy baby. If you have to tip toe around everyone's feelings or others have to tip toe around you, then you are too sensitive. Toughen up. Others need to do the same. Super sensitive people get their feelings hurt too easily and because of that, they have few friends. In life, punches shouldn't have to be pulled.

Don't let the moment be bigger than it needs to be. Too often we get caught up and emotionally charged only to whip ourselves into an unnecessary frenzy.

#Tryharder to not think of the things you have lost or that you don't have. Turn around and take a look at where you came from and what you've brought to the world. It's not about the 10lbs you want to lose, it's about the 10lbs you already lost.  Try to focus on what if, the soon to come and what you have. Be humble, but celebrate with amazing swagger. 

40 Ain't nothing but a number…