It Builds Character

Anything and everything that "built character" my siblings and I convinced ourselves that it was something we needed to do. My parents would use this phrase often to get us to do chores or tasks that were not always the most fun. Adding the phrase "it builds character" to tasks is the equivalent to saying "do this and you'll get a surprise" or in our case "do this and mom and dad won't beat you". 

Let me be clear. We thought it was all bullshit, but we still did it. We just needed to feel like we were getting something out of the chore. Kind of like when the car dealership gives you free oil changes for 2 years. "You just spent $30,000 with us so here's a few oil changes". You walk away feeling like you beat them and got the better end of the deal. We knew we were not going to get paid or awarded ice cream for doing the assignment, but it's always nice to feel like you're going to get something out of it-regardless if you actually do. In hindsight, these chores gave us tons of stories. When it comes to my brothers Michael and Jimmy, all I got left is stories.

Most of you reading this have probably never rotated a pile of wood in order to age the stack evenly. Let me guess, you have no clue what I am saying right?  It's when you have a long and tall pile of firewood and you take the wood on the bottom and put it on top and then take the wood on the top and put it on the bottom. This way, the pile ages and dries evenly. Not too dry and not too green when it burns. For my dad, who often referred to himself as his comic book avenger name "Captain Furnace" (he made us do this as well), this was important in the house heating process. Too much of each, dry or green, can eventually cause issues with your furnace. I'm guessing you never had to do this?  I'm betting that it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things, but again, it built character and if it did that, then it must be done! 

Michael and I would tackle this task the best way we knew how-we made a game out of it. Since we didn't own a wheelbarrow with an inflated wheel, we would have to move this wood from one fence line to the other by hand. The fences were about 40 yards from one another, so the process went like this-take the wood from the top of one stack and put it on the bottom of the newly created stack. You could always load your own arms up with wood and carry your logs from pile to pile or you could make a game out of it and that's just what we did.

While one kid had his arms out, the other would stack log after log into the cradle of the extended arms till the other kid started to buckle and then you loaded two more really fast, just to push the "human wheelbarrow" a little farther. The goal was to move as quickly as you could, from stack to stack, before the load would fall out of your arms. Often, like a Seeing Eye dog, we would have to guide each other during the 40 yard trip because the stack was above the level of your head. This "game" was a lot easier in the cold weather as warmer weather meant fire ant season. Nothing made you move faster than realizing you had an armload of ants.

No matter how strong I got, Michael could always lift more logs. Yes, he was older and bigger than me, but that's not why he could carry more wood. Michael had a "super power" that many never knew about.  As adults, we both grew to be about 5'9", but if you measured him from middle finger tip to middle finger tip, arms stretched out, Michael was 6'3". He was a human monkey! When it comes to boxing and carrying wood, both things he was better than me at, this length is very important. It also helped him hold things over our heads when he was being a jerk. (C'mon Patty!  Can't you reach it?).

Season after season we would rotate the pile so that we would be ready for a potential long winter. Yes, I grew up in Texas, so the amount of wood burned by "Captain Furnace" was not close to what people do in northern Michigan, but this was the only fuel we had when it came to heating our house for the winter.

How many things do you do each day that "build character"?  As adults are we still building character or do we feel, as a reward for surviving childhood, we have paid all the appropriate dues?  I am not trying to be the old man shaking his fist at the young kids running on the lawn or going too fast through the neighborhood, but are the kids these days getting the opportunities to build character?  Are we pushing them in a way to make them stronger mentally and physically?  Are we asking them to #Tryharder? Are we providing bonding opportunities that require them to come up with a creative way of making the time go by as a team (while still accomplishing the task)? Are we giving our kids or the next generation a pass because we are wanting them to have it better, but robbing them of the knowledge and experience that comes with the journey?  I know, a lot of questions to consider.

Although we knew our parents were using "builds character" to get us to feel like we were gaining something in exchange for accomplishing these tasks, we did put forth the effort to attack the chore.  We knew we were building something, but maybe didn’t quite yet have the maturity to actualize what that exactly was yet. Other phrases like "it will put hair on your chest" would probably accomplish the same thing, because what young boys don't want hair on their chest?  Yet, my parents were wise enough to know that a hairy chest would not have motivated my sister the same way. This was very forward thinking of them don't you think? 

Again, not to sound like an old man, but often kids and the early millennials today want to see the benefit or reward before they even start the task. They want to be assured that they are not being "tricked" into knowledge and want a copy of the test before they start to study. "Tell ya what, gimme the Cliff notes and maybe I'll read the book".  They want to learn, but they want a guarantee.  In some ways they are wiser than us, but I think for the most part they might be missing the whole point. 

Trust me, there are times I wish I knew the life lesson before I was forced to experience the journey. Honestly, what's the fun in that?  You have to actually stack the logs before you learn how many you can carry. You have to experience the "load" of life before you learn how much you can take.