The Reaping and Sowing of Networking

"You reap what you sow".

The problem with most of us (ok maybe all of us) when it comes to that phrase is that we don't have the patience for it to come full circle. We live in a "gotta see it now" society that is void of patience.  If projects or relationships don't immediately yield results, we pull out and move on to something new. We know it's not healthy, but we just can't help ourselves.

Remember, you will never reap the immediate results of the sowing of today.

Like you, it’s often a challenge for me to see things through to the end. Much of my workday is measured by results and the immediacy that comes with having to provide results and answers to questions and obstacles. No matter the amount of coaching or explanation, others do not see or share in the vision; especially if the results of that vision are not immediate. Pressure from others or yourself can often push you to move faster on tasks or relationships than you want. You have to see it through at the proper tempo and that is not easy.

 Having patience with relationships can be even more challenging than projects.  When you are networking, you often feel that you are giving more to the relationship than the other person. No relationships in life are ever 50/50, so expecting everything to be balanced is ridiculous.  Others will rarely see the value that you see in the relationship.  You have to measure the value of that relationship and #tryharder if you feel it is important. I am not suggesting you keep score in life, but it's perfectly healthy to weigh and measure your relationships. This allows you to keep from being taken advantage of, but also make sure to acknowledge those who are willing to go the distance with you (Ride or Die Chick!).

 I try to keep touch with as many people as I can. Former employees, coworkers, bosses, and random people I have connected with along the way. It's important to not lose touch with your immediate community and the other communities you are tethered to from various stages and chapters of your life. From grade school to your professional life, it's important to stay connected. (Unless everyone hated you in the 3rd grade and called you "bed wetter Betty". You can go ahead and unplug from those people) If people are cancerous to your life or career, you certainly need to weigh and examine your relationship with them as well.  Not everyone is meant to remain as a contact in your iPhone, but you have to evaluate the difference between a cancerous relationship and a challenging one.

 Selfishly, it is never a bad idea to stay in contact with people who might eventually help you in your career. The obvious is former employers (that you didn't burn bridges with) because they might be able to hire you or refer you to someone else if you find yourself in need of a new job. It is equally important to stay connected with former employees or people you have worked with along the way. These people can be of great use to you when you need a dynamic person to help your business grow.  In management, keeping a stable of talent to hire from is essential.  Even if you never have the opportunity to hire them, it’s always good to have a plan “B” person up your sleeve.

Then, it happens.  You rush it.  You invest a little time in making a connection.  You take that person to lunch or you call them a few times to keep the “friendship” going.  Then that moment arrives when you feel you can call in a favor or finally spend some of the equity you think you have in that relationship and they aren’t there for you.  Why?  Perhaps they don’t value the relationship as much as you do?  Maybe you don’t have enough of the things they deem important or your timing is just wrong.  Some people are not of the networking mind and never take the time to cultivate relationships with the same interest that you have.  As a manager, I find the most frustrating people to be the ones that only reach out or connect when they need something.  Look, we all need something, but you need to have some tact in your approach.  Networking, when you are trying to get ahead in your career, is not hitting up an employer whenever they have an opening.  Networking is staying connected at the times when neither one of you have a need for each other.  Keeping a flow of communication for months, maybe years, before the opportunity presents itself. Even if that opportunity never happens, that connection can still be very valuable. 

So where do you draw the line?  Do you pull out of the relationship and invest your time elsewhere?  I guess it all depends on how important that relationship is to you.  Maybe you came on too strong or maybe you have little to offer in the eyes of the other person.  Maybe you back off a bit and find other people that have similar opportunities to offer?  If you are networking properly, you should have a deep bench of people that you connect, and continue to connect, with.  Healthy networking should be part of your lifestyle and not just something you do for advancement.  Understand that we need to invest in people and relationships if we want to progress in life and career.  You must also keep in mind that all relationships are investments that mature differently and we will get nothing back if we don’t at least try.